My best friend .... food .... My worst enemy

So, as a home schooling mom of three little boys - ages 2 -5-7 - I get a little tired and frustrated during the day. Of course, being a women and dealing with the hormonal issues that come with this gender I find myself yelling one minute and in tears the next. Yet, I found this weird comfort in food. Chocolate and french fries - french fries first- followed shortly with some good chocolate. That seems to soothe me. The prospect of eating can literally change my mood in seconds. Going out to eat is a common way for my husband to pacify my insane mood swings. "Honey, why are you crying? Would you like to go out to eat tonight?" But I don't want to look like I like to eat. That is where the problem comes in. I'm not huge. I'm overweight. I don't look as though I have missed any meals. That's not my goal, but for once it would be nice to hear someone whisper behind my back, "poor thing, she looks hungry." Those types of sweet nothings will never be whispered about me. Instead I try and hide the fact that I went back to the buffet three times or that at the church potluck I went through the line twice - getting stuff for the kids, of course. The same kids who finished eating 3 minutes after sitting down and are now climbing on the monkey bars and running through the parking lot with their friends. When did food become so much a part of my thought life? I wake up in the morning and my first thoughts are of breakfast and they quickly move on to lunch, dinner and snacks. All before I have even inhaled - umm, eaten - breakfast. I'm not a scientist but I am pretty sure there is something going on in my God created body, that makes food thoughts so FANTASTIC! So, I've tried Weight Watchers and lost 35 pounds. I tried Jenny Craig - huge waste of money - and lost five. Why can't I just be like my brother who gets to 2:00 in the afternoon and wonders why he has a headache. It doesn't take much digging to figure out the head pain came from the fact that he hasn't eaten anything all day. At 2:00 in the afternoon. I've already consumed most my "daily recommended caloric intake" and I'm not even close to ending my "food" day. Did I mention my brother is a bean stalk? My sister is also overweight and during a sibling discussion a few weeks back we were pondering the great character and physical traits we had acquired from our parents. My sister got beautiful, long, strong fingernails. I got great hair. My sister and I looked at our very dashing brother and said, "what did you get?" He looked at us for a split second and asked, "are you kidding? .......... I'm skinny." It was so rude of him to state the obvious, but we forgave him anyway and proceeded to the nearest drive-thru window to finish our conversation. Oh, to have a day without constant thoughts of food. .........